Sea Story II

Time for another Sea Story,

I was a fire controlman in the Navy. What a fire control technician does is pretty cool. We maintain and operate the digital fire control system. In other words, we do all the repair and maintenance on the system that is used to track contacts from all the different sensors (sonar, radar, periscope). And we operated the fire control system by determining the range, course, and speed of different targets after evaluating the bearing data over time. Then we would figure out how to shoot those targets with torpedos, (or tomahawk missles).

Our watchstanding involved maintaining current solutions on all contacts in order to provide the Captain with an overall picture of the tactical situation.

Whenever we went to periscope depth we had to do specific things to ensure that we were certain of the "solutions" on all contacts. The Captain would come up to the control room and the OOD would inform the captain of where he believed all the contacts were. The Captain would then give the OOD permision to come to periscope depth. After several years onboard I had developed a reputation of being very good at this part of my job, (getting solutions). The Captain would receive the report from the OOD and we would begin our ascent to persicope depth. The OOD would be riding the scope and the Captain would lean down and quietly ask me, "allright, what are these guys really doing?" It was nice to have the Captain have that much trust and respect for my abilities.

Now, whenever we were at periscope depth at night time, the control room would be "rigged for black", meaning all the lights would be out. This made it hard to see. The seat I was in was within arms length of the persiscope. Now, usually when the scope was out there would be a crowd of 5 or so people standing around the periscope station waiting to "take a turn". I always found this to be annoying because they would be bumping in to me. It was usually the J.O.'s who were there to get experience (or say they were they for official reasons when they really just wanted to see outside). So I started to play a game. Remember it was dark?? Well, I would reach over in to the group and pinch one of them on the butt. Usually the guy on the scope. I did this for a couple of years (about three or four patrols) without ever getting caught. I got J.O.'s, the CO, the XO, the NAV... whoever. Then on my last patrol, we were at periscope depth, rigged for black. The Captain was on the scope. I was reaching my hand over and was just about to pinch... and the Captain says in a low voice, "fire control, if you touch me... you'll be down in my stateroom later accross a green table from me" (meaning I would go to Captains Mast [non-judicial punishment]). "Aye Aye Captain" I say.

After we came down from periscope depth the Captain came over to me with a grin on his face and basically told me that he had known all along that it had been me doing it and that I should never assume that the Captain doesn't know what's going on. But, the gig was up and I should find something else to do now.